The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
