Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
