Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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