He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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