Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
