Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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