smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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