Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
