1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
