I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
