thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
