She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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