508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
