So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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