I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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