I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
