So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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