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You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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