Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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