Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
