hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
