My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
