The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
