It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
there is glitter all over my balls
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