so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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