My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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