omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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