just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
