omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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