I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize