i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
