Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
