Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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