It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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