So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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