im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
