let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
