I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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