i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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