tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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