PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize