You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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