i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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