i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
