Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
