Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
