were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I only lived at night.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
