I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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