That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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