Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize