just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
