Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What a dumb baby whore.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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