I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize