My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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