but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
