I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize