I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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