No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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