Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
