somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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