I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
