i don't like sucking hair
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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