his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's the barista slut.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
