just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
