the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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