Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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