u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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