1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my being single is dangerous.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
