Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
