we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
