I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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