Me too!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize