he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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