I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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